#its not there yet with zelda ...... im so afraid of it happening to it too

[ganondoodle]

saw a bit of the one piece fan letter (?) animation thingy and god that style, the way it was animated and the different perspective (it was the bit with the marine guy ar marineford, possibly not even the full part) felt so .. different and refreshing, and i didnt even watch it with the sound

one piece has long lost me, it was my fandom before i got into zelda but around whole cake island i stopped reading/watching and with the reveal about luffys fruit it was the last nail in the coffin for me- still that animation is somethign else ....... almost makes me sad bc it looked so much more interesting than the actual thing is (to me)

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 64

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. | Tag lists are closed | INBOX OPEN

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 64: Empty

You felt the weight of his presence in your mind leave you, slowly dissipating like smoke in a room. “I shall leave for now, but if the pills don’t work, and she is too weak to guard herself it will leave me no choice but to protect her.” His hand came to your crown, almost as if he was trying to physically caress your mind with his own hand.

Your head felt rather empty without him there. The rational part of your brain, the one that always had its own personality, the fire that kept you going, was now reduced down to not much more than a lamp flame. Your wildfire was almost completely snuffed. Your spark was almost gone.

“How do you feel, m’lady,” asked Dr. Dabrini. Kylo remained silent. He removed his hand from you.

You lifted your head, trying to avoid meeting Kylo’s direct piercing gaze, your sight still blurry from your tears. You tried to focus on the doctor, trying to meet his analyzing but gentle gaze. “I don’t know. Better I guess, but I don’t feel the same as before,” your lips trembled as you spoke, afraid to know the truth of what was happening to your mind. You felt the hollowness of your own mind and the heaviness of your heart.  

The doctor came to kneel next to you; you knew that he would be able to see into your mind as Kylo could. He could ask questions, but that was only so good. He couldn’t feel what you were feeling. “What do you feel, m’lady? Can you describe it?” His voice quieter than before, like he wasn’t wanting to scare you off.

“I feel… empty, like what was there before isn’t now. It isn’t completely gone, but it is mostly gone. My heart is heavy and my head is light, but not in a good way? I don’t know how else to describe it.” Because in truth, you couldn’t—not really. How would you explain that a part of yourself was now gone?

You felt the bed shift as Kylo stood up, his back to the both of you.

The doctor glanced at him before he spoke to you again, “I cannot guarantee that the missing pieces of you will ever return m’lady. I do know that you should spend some time reflecting on what is still there, the memories, emotions, thoughts, and figure out how to move on with them. I know that it might not be ideal and that it may scare you, but there is nothing that I can do to bring them back. What I can do is give you dreamless sleep tonight.” You could hear the sincerity in the doctor’s voice. You could tell that he wasn’t happy, that he couldn’t do more for you. His face was full of grief and sympathy.

You nodded and looked at Kylo, whose back was still turned to you, with clenched fists. You wondered what he was thinking. How he felt about taking so much from you? How did he feel knowing he hurt you again? He broke his promise, but with good intentions. He was trying to protect you after all, wasn’t he?

The doctor glanced between you two before standing, “You know all that I can offer you. Tonight I will have a sleeping pill delivered, and tomorrow we can discuss its effectiveness. But for now, this is all that I can offer, and I shall leave you two alone to discuss our findings.” Dr. Dabrini then stepped out of the room.

Kylo had yet to move a muscle, his hard rigid back creating a wall between you. You didn’t know if it was protecting you or if it was keeping you out.

Your voice was small and broken, “Kylo?”

He turned to you, “He’s right. I must speed up my plans, our plans.” He then glanced down the hall, to where you did not know. “I will do what I must to protect you. They will be eliminated and soon. I do not want to take over you, but I will if it means keeping you by my side. Do you understand?” His voice became hard, his cauldron eyes ablaze with cascading emotions. Currents of dark painful water that you knew you could not swim against.

You did not want to lose yourself, but neither did he. Leia did not want to hurt you, she just wanted him home, Ben home not Kylo. But Rey, Rey would harm you to get Ben to come home, to leave you so he could be with her. Ben not Kylo. Ben the weaker half. “Yes.” You looked up to his face, and attempted to get up to meet him,

He moved to meet you on the bed. He drew you into his arms. “I will be fully yours then. Won’t I?” You searched his face for an answer.

“Yes, if I complete my task, you will be mine alone. Ben Solo will no longer exist. But you will be stuck with a broken monster.” His hand came up to move your hair behind your ear. You were a mess after this whole ordeal but there were more important things to worry about.

“So if you do this there will be no more you or him?” You didn’t know if that scared you or thrilled you. You thought all the gentle moments you two shared may not have been him, but you couldn’t be sure.

He brought your wrist up to his lips, and kissed his name gently, for the first time in weeks. “Yes, if that is what you want.”

Your heart pounded at the gentleness of it all. You were two equally broken people clinging to each other, to mend yourselves whole. Two souls that were chosen from the galaxy to intertwine. Where one couldn’t survive without the other?

“I don’t want to be hurt by this tug-of-war anymore. I want you Kylo, just you. Ben Solo betrayed me, by not protecting me, by leaving me defenseless to attacks, but you have tried to protect me. You only harm me when you fight him, so the fight needs to end.” It was partially true, he was a monster, but he was fighting against himself and his slashes were hitting you in the process. You needed to figure out who the monster was, so you could fix him. Train him to be your hound. Once you were Empress. A monster only you could understand, a monster that you were created to love.

“Then I will have to leave you, to kill him. To kill them. You are MINE,” the monster growled. “I will not let them have you, I will not let him win.” His lips crashed harshly against yours, biting your lip as they did. Teeth scraping and rough, this was him, this was Kylo. “And when I win, you shall be Empress,” he snarled into the kiss. A rough lover, one with intense passion, that ignited heat within you.

His sharp teeth nipped, and he sucked down your neck, marking you as his and his alone. His nose guided his lips back up to your ear, “As much as I would like to play with you Kitten, we have a meeting to get to, one that will help us accomplish our goal,” he gave you one last harsh nips to your lips as you broke apart. His arms sliding under you as he stood, carrying you to your dressing room where Adlez and Olivia-Rose were waiting to fix you.

“You have ten minutes to make her presentable,” he then set you down in front of your vanity. A harsh bruising possessive kiss to your lips before he left you into their care.

You glanced at your reflection in the mirror. You looked like and felt like hell. Your appearance made it seem as if you just got out of an active war zone, out of a fight for your life. Adlez and Olivia-Rose buzzed around you with such a speed you hadn’t witnessed before. Adlez carefully but quickly put your hair back into place and started assisting Olivia-Rose in covering the dark circles under your eyes, and the fresh love bites along your neck. You were then pulled to the armoire where your dress was practically ripped off you and then promptly replaced. Almost as soon as you were placed for inspection in front of the full-length mirror, there was a loud knock on the door. Time was up.

If you hadn’t started to move you were sure that Adlez would have ripped the door out from its pocket in the wall and screamed at Kylo. But you made it to the door before she did. Your body moving on a sort of autopilot. Once the door opened an arm pulled you out into the hall and started walking you out of your chambers. He was moving with a purpose and taking you with him.

You walked down the halls until you reached the familiar conference room from the day before. Kylo sat you down in your seat as he stalked to the head of the table. You could see that it wasn’t just a few members of the High Command present like Hux had said before, it was everyone. Well, some were holocommuting in, but still all members were present in some form.

Everyone seemed to be on edge. Kylo’s mood resonating to each individual person. Hux was the first to speak, “You called for this meeting Supreme Leader? Have things changed?” You could hear the uneasiness in his usually confident voice. His eyes reflected that same fear as he gazed upon the black monster in front of him.

“Yes, the plans have changed. Things have changed. The need to kill the scavenger and General Organa has become more important, more immediate. It needs my full attention. I shall leave sometime tomorrow to complete the task.” His voice through his mask is more menacing than ever.

“But we do not know where they are,” said Pryde. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as Kylo shadowed towards him. His dark threatening black form seemed impossibly large.

He brought his face to be level with Pryde’s holo one. “Do you doubt my abilities, General Pryde?” You could hear the taunt, like a hyena’s laugh, only more deadly.

You watched the general swallow, to what you could only assume to be a dry mouth. His lips trembled in fear as his hologram eyes met the chrome of Kylo’s mask. “No, Supreme Leader, I do not.”

Kylo’s mask was less than an inch from the projection before he said, “Good.” He then stood back up to his full ominous form as he tracked back to the head of the table, “we wouldn’t want tradition to doubt authority and the ability of the Force.” You could hear the direct jab at Pryde’s pride. “After all, I am my grandfather’s heir apparent. Am I not,” his head whipped around to meet Pryde’s gaze.

“Yes, Supreme Leader, you are. You shall exceed Lord Vader’s legacy,” you could practically smell the fear through the hologram. You could certainly see the sweat forming on his brow, anyway.

Kylo lifted his head in a mock approval before he haunted around your side of the table before stopping next to you, “Once I return, Lady Ren will assume the position of Empress. And you will all be prepared for this. All preparations will need to be prepared. As neither of us will wait.” His hand rested on your shoulder.

“Preparations will begin immediately,” responded Hux.

“Would you like for the ceremony to take place back on Earth? Or shall it be somewhere else,” asked General Parnadee.

“Where would you like the ceremony to be held,” asked Kylo. He was speaking to you and you alone. The rest of the room waiting on your answer.

“How about somewhere new, somewhere important to you maybe? There is no use going back to my planet, is there?”

“As you wish,” responded Kylo.

“There is your grandfather’s castle on Mustafar m’lord,” said Hux.

“Yes, send preparations there. We are finished here.” With that, he guided you back up, escorting you back down the halls to your chambers. To be alone with him once again. To see the monster behind the mask, to learn about him. To love him, to mend him.

[katedoesfics]

Shadows of the Yiga | Chapter 40

It was late when they returned to the ranch. Aryll hurried to the window when she heard the sound of an engine coming down the dirt driveway. With a yelp, she ran to the front door and hurried off the porch and outside with the others following close behind. She stopped, her heart racing, as the SUV pulled to a stop. She watched as her brother stepped out of the passenger side. He was rolling his eyes and firing back at Revali, who stepped out from behind him, but he was cut short when Aryll threw herself against him.

“You're welcome,” Revali said smugly as he walked by. “Revali saves the day once again.”

Link slouched slightly, too tired to argue, or do much of anything, really. He was exhausted from the trip. Not only that, he couldn’t even remember the last time he good anything close to a decent night’s sleep. The last few weeks were such a blur, he could have slept for a hundred years. He yawned loudly and wrapped his arms lazily around Aryll. His gaze moved to his father, standing near the barn with his hands in his pockets, and he offered him a tired, reassuring smile. When Mipha stepped forward, he turned his attention to her. For the first time in what felt like a long time, he didn’t feel afraid to be near her.

“What happened?” Aryll asked, looking up at him. “Are you better?”

Link shrugged as another yawn escaped its hold. “Guess so.”

Aryll frowned. Her eyes narrowed on her brother. “You guess so?”

“Can we talk about it in the morning?”

Aryll rolled her eyes but didn't argue with him. She reached for Mipha, pulling her into their hug. Link allowed himself to lean against them slightly and sighed.

*****

For the first time in a long time, Link slept through the entire night – even late into the morning – without any trouble. It was near noon when he finally rolled out of the bed, still groggy. He trudged through the old farm house, following the voices he heard downstairs and into the kitchen. He hesitated around the corner, listening in.

“Hyrule’s army won't stand a chance against the Yiga Clan,” Paya's voice said. “This needs to be handled delicately as with Ganondorf and his army.”

“It would be nice to go into this with some kind of back up,” Revali said.

“As far as my father is concerned,” Zelda started, “we are traitors. He won't help us.”

“He won't abandon you,” Mipha said. “You're his daughter.”

“As long as I'm on Link's side,” Zelda said. She hesitated. “He doesn't trust Link.”

“We don't need him,” Riju said. “We've done this before without him, we can do it again.”

“We?” Urbosa echoed.

“Yeah!” Riju said. “We!”

“We don't even know how many of them there are,” Daruk said. “We may not stand a chance.”

“We didn't stand a chance before,” Revali said. “That's the thing about superheroes. They beat all odds.”

“Except we're not superheroes,” Daruk reminded him.

“I beg to differ. You don't get super powers and not call yourself a superhero.”

“Link doesn't have a superpower,” Riju said.

“You're right,” Revali said. “Which means we all need to work extra hard to protect his lame ass.”

“You shouldn't have gotten rid of Dark Link. At least he was good for something.”

“Yeah,” Revali said. “He would have kicked our asses.”

Riju shrugged. “I like a challenge.”

Link looked down the hallway as footsteps approached. Aryll rounded the corner, stretching her arms over her head. She smiled when she saw Link, then hesitated when she saw him against the wall. She cocked her head to the side and leaned against the wall beside him. She searched his face, but he was staring hard at his bare feet.

“So,” Daruk started. “It sounds like either way, we're screwed. We'll be severely outnumbered with no back up.”

“I'll talk to Grandmother,” Paya said. “She won't abandon us. Neither will King Roham. I'm sure of it.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” Zelda muttered. “He's disowned me.”

“What's he going to do?” Revali said. “Lock us up if we show our faces?”

“Probably. He can be petty like that.”

“I'll show 'im,” Riju said. “He'll think twice about messing with me!”

“Threaten him,” Urbosa warned, “and you'll definitely never see the light of day again.”

“Hmph.”

“So,” Mipha started. “What do we do?”

The room was quiet. Aryll slouched against the wall, frowning. She sighed, then pushed passed Link and walked into the kitchen.

“You kick Yiga ass! Isn't that what you guys do? Fight the bad guys?” She crossed her arms. “That's what superheroes would do.” She made her way to the coffee machine and pulled a cup out of the cupboard.

“That's what I've been saying!” Riju said. She moved towards Aryll, peering over her shoulder. “Hey, make me some!”

“Make your own!” Aryll shoved her aside with her hip.

“Come on,” Riju whined. “I got stuck sleeping on that awful couch.”

“Riju,” Urbosa warned. “This isn't a hotel. Be grateful Talon is letting us stay here.”

“Hmph.”

Link dared to step around the corner and into the kitchen, yawning loudly. He ignored his friends as he strode to the refrigerator in hopes of quieting his growling stomach. He opened the door and peered inside for a long moment.

“You could at least put a shirt on,” Daruk said.

Link shrugged. “But then you won't be able to appreciate all of this.”

Riju skipped to his side and joined him at peering into the fridge. “I could still kick your ass.”

“Probably,” he said with a nod. “We can't all have superpowers.” He straightened and closed the door, an apple in hand.

“Oh?” Riju crossed her arms. “Spying on us?”

“Nope,” he said as he bit into the apple. He looked around the kitchen, noticing then a few missing faces.

“Where’s Kit?” he asked.

Revali shrugged. “I dunno,” he started. “Said something about checking in on the bar, stocking up, and something about some Sera chick.”

Link chewed thoughtfully. He was sure he’d get an earful from Sera whenever they made it back to the city.

“Where’s Dad?” Aryll asked his other question.

“Car’s gone,” Daruk said. “Guessing he took off last night.”

Link raised a brow. “What for?”

“We thought you’d know,” Urbosa said.

Link hesitated. He took another bite of his apple. “Uh-uh.”

“Excellent,” Revali muttered.

“We need to start planning our attack on the Yiga,” Zelda said.

“We don’t stand a chance on our own,” Urbosa said, shaking her head. “We’ll be walking right into our deaths.”

“Let me go into the city,” Paya said, turning to Zelda. “I’m sure we can get the help of the Sheikah. If Dorian is true to his word, he will back us up.”

Zelda hesitated. “And if not?”

As if in answer to her doubts, the sound of tires on the dirt drive caught their attention. From somewhere in the house, Talon cocked his rifle.

“Are ya’ll ‘spectin’ company?” he asked in a wary voice.

The Champions hurried outside, watching as a convoy of black vehicles made their way up the dirt road and turned into the drive. They pulled in one by one, lining up side by side, filling the driveway and spilling out onto the sides of the road.

Link watched carefully as the doors opened to the vehicles, and Hyrulean and Sheikah soldiers spilled out around the vehicles. In the front, three more men stepped out, dressed in similar uniforms. A bullet proof vest protected Teba. One hand rested on the butt of the gun on his hip, while the other was tucked into the pocket of his pants. He slouched enough to show an appearance of his usual, casual disinterest, yet his eyes were fierce with determination. Rusl lacked the bullet proof vest, but was equally equipped with weapons on his body. He brought a cigarette away from his lips with a smug grin and flicked the ash to the ground. Dorian stood beside him, his arms crossed, and he regarded his friend with a look of only slight annoyance.

“Well, shit,” Daruk said.

Link narrowed his gaze on his father. “What’s this?”

“An army,” he said proudly. “You lot sure as shit can’t do this with just the few of you.”

Link raised a questionable brow. “Roham just let you take his men?”

“Goddesses, no,” Rusl said with a laugh, then shrugged. “But we didn’t bother ask.” He gestured with his chin toward Teba. “Those are Teba’s guys. They’re on team Zelda.” He then gestured to Dorian. “Dorian’s guys. Also team Zelda.” He stepped aside, then turned to look over the men that stood behind him. “Those are my boys.”

“How does a dead guy get the biggest team?” Revali asked.

“I know people,” Rusl said simply. “And people like a good back from the dead story.”

“And you know, I gave his son stolen blackmarket weapons,” Jini said, stepping forward. “It was this, or do more time behind damn bars.”

At that moment, the air snapped, and Impa and Purah appeared before the convoy.  Impa held what looked to be brown pieces of material in her arms. They seemed to be mid-argument when they appeared, but Purah stopped abruptly as her gaze landed on Link. The old Sheikah squealed with delight, then waved off her sister as she made her way to Link.

“I can’t believe you were keeping this good looking man from me,” she said. She stopped in front of him and reached up to pinch his cheeks. She stood on her tiptoes and looked passed him, smiling at Rusl over her shoulder. “He’s almost as handsome as you, Russy-boy.”

“How dare you compare us,” Rusl said. “You said I was your favorite.”

“Oh, Russy,” Purah said. She grinned widely. “You’ve been trying to get with me for years.”

“That’s weird,” Revali muttered.

Purah patted Link’s cheek. “You might have a chance if you play your cards right.”

Link looked to Impa helplessly. Impa sighed and pressed a finger to her temple. “Please leave him alone.”

Purah moved her hands to pull at his ears and giggled. “That’s some strong Hylian bloodline. She picked a good one.”

“That’s debatable,” Impa muttered.

Purah waved her younger sister off with a hand. “It was probably for the best,” Purah said, stepping away to look him over. “Impa has that tough love thing going on. I would have coddled you.”

“She beat me with a stick,” Link muttered.

Purah grinned. “That’s so Impa. I see why she likes you.”

“I don’t think she does,” Link said slowly. He met Impa’s gaze and the old Sheikah grinned.

“Atta boy,” she said simply.

Purah put her hands on her hips and smiled. “Well, enough chit-chat, then. Looks like everyone’s all here. It’s time to put this plan into motion.”

“There’s a plan?” Daruk asked.

“Of course there’s a plan,” Purah said. “Haven’t you fought a war before?”

“Yes,” Revali sneered. “By our damn selves.”

“That’s not true,” Impa hissed.

“It didn’t seem likely we’d have anyone on our side,” Urbosa said.

“Oh, come now,” Purah said, waving them off with a hand. “You always have the Sheikah on your side.” She turned and narrowed her gaze on Impa and Dorian.

“Even if it seems like they’re against you at times.”

“Purah,” Impa warned.

Purah ignored her and turned her attention back to the Champions. “Impa and I work very differently. Regardless.” She moved her arm to the side, gesturing to the team behind her. “You’re not alone in this fight. In fact, I’ve been doing a little extra research myself, and I think I found just the thing to give you an edge.” She pulled the Sheikah Slate out from under her jacket and waved it in the air.

“That’s the Sheikah Slate,” Zelda said.

“See - it does a lot more than activate shrines.”

“My daughters have uncovered the four Divine Beasts that were used thousands of years ago,” Dorian explained.

Purah’s fingers flew across the screen of the slate. “They were used against the Great Calamity. Robbie has been able to activate them with the Sheikah Slate. You will be able to use them to easily take out the Yiga Clan’s hideout.”

“The Divine Beasts,” Urbosa mumbled. “They’re still functioning?”

“You know of them?” Mipha asked.

“Just legends,” Urbosa said.

“We’ll need each of you Champions to man one of these machines,” Purah continued. “The Sheikah can get you each to your respective Divine Beasts to blow up the Yiga Clan hideout, then back in a flash to finish them off.” She looked up at them, her shoulders pulled back, and smiled. “Questions, comments, complaints, grievances, or anything else I don’t care about?”

“Yeah,” Daruk said with a grunt. “We need a raise.”

“I’m afraid I can’t offer that,” Pura started. “But I did come with a plan, didn’t I? And a team?”

“We brought the team,” Rusl said.

But Purah ignored him. “And, I didn’t come without gifts.” She took the brown pieces of material from Impa’s arms. “Take these.” She threw them at each of them and, upon opening them, Link realized they were long cloaks.

“Oh, swell,” he said with false enthusiasm. “These will be so useful to us in that wasteland of a desert where it's going to be so damn cold.”

Impa did not hesitate to smack him upside the head. “Boy, I'da killed you a long time ago if I could have,” she snarled at him. “Don't test me.”

Urbosa frowned at the cloak. “These are the least fashionable things I've ever seen.”

“Fine,” Impa said with a grunt. “Die out there.” She turned away from them and sucked in a deep breath. “You will not be able to fight off the heat of the desert,” she attempted to explain to them. “That being said, you will not stand a chance in the cold nights, either.”

Purah grinned and anxiously offered to finish explaining for Impa. “Listen up, Linky boy. Those cloaks have been reinforced with Sheikah magic and will keep you cool during the day, and warm at night. Without it, you will freeze to death on the first night.” She leaned in toward him. “And we definitely don’t want that to happen. Because you’re just too cute to die!”

Link hesitated, blinking blankly at her. “Thank… you?”

“I'm going to go ahead and assume you expect us to walk that damned desert,” Revali said.

“Of course,” Impa said. She turned back to face the group. “The outskirts of the desert is one thing, but nothing will survive the sandstorms in the wastelands.”

“Us included,” Daruk muttered.

“I suppose the army may have some nice equipment that you could borrow,” Purah started, but she shook her head. “but you'll only draw more attention to yourselves.” She shook her head. “Your safest bet is to go on foot.”

“Urbosa, Revali, Daruk, Mipha; you will each man one of the Divine Beasts, while Link and Zelda make their way to the Yiga Clan. On Teba’s command, you will each use the control panels on the Divine Beasts to fire at their hideout. The Sheikah there will be able to assist you and get you back to the desert to join the fight.”

“What about Thing One and Thing Two?” Revali threw his thumb toward Link and Zelda. “You’re leaving them powerless.” His brows furrowed. “No offense, but you’ll both just get in the way.”

Zelda hesitated. “We’re not staying behind.”

“They will have the Sheikah with them,” Purah said. “They will be safe until you all return.”

“Your power is not gone, Zelda,” Impa said. She patted the back of her hand. “The Triforce is still a part of you, even though Hylia used all of its energy. You are Hylian, and like all Hylian’s, that power sleeps inside of you. You’ve always had the power of the Triforce to enhance your abilities, but they are still there, as they are in all Hylians.” She smiled. “You just have to work a little harder to find that power and bring it out.”

“What about Link?” Riju chimed in. “Does he have it, too?”

Impa hesitated. She met Link’s gaze and her eyes narrowed on him. “He’s too stupid to be able to access any power he might have.” She turned her back on them. “While all Hylians have the power, that doesn’t mean they have the ability to bring it forth.” She met Rusl’s hard gaze.

“Always a loser,” Revali said. He turned to Link with a smug grin.

“Bite me,” Link muttered.

Impa turned back to the Champions. “Prepare yourselves. You’ll set out tonight.” She smiled. “May Hylia keep your sorry asses from frying.”

[kappasigmalife]

Eternal Purgatory: Chp 1, welcome to campus

Eternal Purgatory: Chapter one

Welcome to AU

 Today marks the worst day of my life, joining a frat. My dumbass dad is forcing me cause I can't stand to alone forever in my room with my books and writing, even going as far as to take my tuition away if I don’t. my name is Christopher Matthews and I come from a long line of assholes controlling the mass market of industry, and as the next head of the family corporation, he expects me to be part of his alma mater and brotherhood. God do I wish for death right about now.

Christopher begins talking on the phone with his father

“dad you can’t be fucking serious about this, they want me in an initiation and you know frat guys will do something really heinous and I don’t think I can handle that.”

Christopher’s father Joseph talks to him pretty pissed off about the situation.

“Oh I’m so sorry that I’m paying for college while you spend all your time writing those weird stories and keeping yourself locked from the outside world. Get over yourself, you have to venture out on your own and get used to society, how else are you going to take over the company?” Chris responds

“Yeah that’s right dad I got to do everything you want, no use in arguing with it anyhow, I know your minds made up, but rest assured I don’t condone this and something will happen, I know it.” Joseph on the other end

“Jesus Christ again with you bitching about taking risks, hows about you stop trying to be such a little bitch and do as your told, not that you ever proved yourself before.” Chris sighs before hanging up

“Love you too dad.”

Chris looks outside his window seeing a bunch of people crowding around in frat sweatshirts and gets a knock on his door.

Chris rolling his eyes

“gee I wonder who it could possibly be, not that I would know.”

As he opens the door a bunch of guys rush him placing a bag over his head dragging him off. As he has the bag taken off his head, he finds himself feeling bitter cold and notices they are in the basement of the dining hall on campus. The frat guys come forth and welcome chris and several other young college students to the freezer.

Frat guy

“welcome maggots to the initiation, tonight you venture into the freezer for one hour wearing only your skivvies and when the hours up, you’re going to be brothers.”

Chris glares at them and asks

“So you want us to strip down and go into freezing cold as you guys get drunk and wait?” Frat guy

“yes that’s exactly what we want.” Chris strips off his clothes and walks in flipping off one of the frat guys staring at him

“Yeah I know I’m covered in scars get over it, just let us out when your done waiting.” Frat guy

“okay just for that kid, two hours for you”

Chris thinking to himself.

“Yeah I’ll be waiting with bells on.”

Chris looks at his watch as he shivers in the cold, noticing it’s been well over two hours and the frat brothers haven’t come for him. More time passes and Chris notices the lock turning, showing that the dining hall has been closed. Shivering in the back, Chris contemplates what he said and knew the brothers forgot about him and he told his dad so about the risks to going for the brotherhood.

“I told that asshole, I told him I didn’t want to do it, but he made me anyways, god I’m fucking freezing.” As Chris finishes thinking he closes his eyes waiting for help.

As he awakens he notices hes in his boxers in the quad and looks around

“huh, guess I was able to make it out after all, I wonder who let me…, this is not my campus”

Chris looks around quite a bit more seeing different toned people walking around heading to classes glaring at him

“What the hell, it’s not even Halloween, what’s up with the floating and scarred people… oh fuck I’m dreaming.”

As Chris ducts into the bushes he notices a  set of feet walking towards him and the person is wearing gold boots that are bejeweled and stands waiting for him to come out.

“Its okay, you can come out, there isn’t anything to be afraid of.” Chris crawls out of the bushes and notices a hulking man with piercing blue eyes and blonde hair slicked back in gold armor carrying a straight sword on his back and lending his hand out to help Chris up. Chris looks at him and immediately questions everything

Chris blinking and seeing if its all true

“okay did I stumble to a renassaince fair, cause your in armor and carrying a qhat I can only presume is the blade Excalibur, nice workmanship btw.” The man stares back at him and shakes his head.

“young man I am Dean Arthur, and this is not a replica of Excalibur, it’s the real thing, your in purgatory.” Chris’s eyes widen and looks around.

“so I’m dead, your king Arthur, and this place is a school.” Arthur

“Yes you died before your time came and so you will continue your education here, at Afterlife University.” Chris sighs and face palms contemplating the situation.

“good god I am in an never ending hell.” Arthur brings chris to his office registering him for classes as chris looks outside and sees a fat guy smoking a bowl outside the window. Arthur looks out and opens yelling at the young man.

“Mr. Stone, I have told you repeatedly no marijuana on the campus, recreational use may be legal, but only off school grounds.” Mr. Stone puts out the bowl exhaling his smoke in the air.

“Sorry, I keep forgetting, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind but had a test coming up and the nerves you know.”

Arthur looks at him getting annoyed.

“my boy, your so bright but yet your careless and lazy, why not be more like the new student, straight A’s and responsible.” Chris looks at Arthur and raising his eyebrow.

“actually after all the stuff that just happened, I could go for some of that.” Stone looks at him up and down.

“honestly dude, I can set you up with my dealer, hes super chill, but maybe get some clothes first.” Chris looks down at himself wearing only his boxers.

“Oh god that’s right, anyway I can get some pants.” Arthur looking at him in embarrassment.

“Apologies I didn’t expect this to happen, most come to purgatory with clothes on.” Chris with a blank expression

“well I didn’t, so get me some clothes before I freeze to death, again.” Arthur gets Chris a blue flannel shirt with a pair of brown cargo pants and has him change. After getting clean clothes on Chris is given a registration number for classes and an address for his housing off campus. Arthur tells him that he is going to meet a lot of nice people around but to be wary of a few unwanted figures. As he walks he notices a bunch of game characters, historical figures, and even people from canceled tv shows hanging around.

Chris looks onward to see everything around him from the students to the teachers

“Huh, so everything that dies comes here, even fandoms, that explains a lot.”

As he walks he suddenly bumps into a chubby goth boy with a black goatee and wearing a dark maroon flannel and jeans.

The boy he bumps into looks at him.

“geez man could you be anymore clumsy.”

Chris dusts himself off and looks back at the young man who looks upset.

“apologies, im new and I gotta get used to things around here.” The young man looks back at him glaring up and down.

“Whatever country boy, just watch your step.”

Chris questioning what he meant.

“do you mean you’ll hurt me, cause I won’t take that lying down.” The young man widens his eyes responding.

“oh no I mean watch your literal step, if you don’t focus, youll fall down the stairs over there.” Chris looks at the spiraling staircase going off campus and sees the point.

“Oh thanks, again im sorry to bump into you but I gotta go move in to my new place.”

as he walks away the young man in the maroon flannel covers his pants with his books.

“damn it hes cute.” An incarnation of link from legend of Zelda comes over seeing what occurred.

“so Brendan, got a nice little surprise there.”

Brendan glares at link with his hair getting fluffed up.

“shut it elf boy, I highly doubt that he plays for the same team.”

As Chris reaches the house he looks at his cargo pants that tore lightly.

“that chubby goth boy owes me a new pair, or a date.” as he opens the door he notices the same fat guy who smoked a bowl outside Arthurs and another man who comes in wearing a Naruto headband and a Tokyo ghoul mask over his face. Stone walks over and offers chris a joint and a shot of rum to welcome him to the home.

“hey there, im paul and this is Robby, looks like you’re the new roommate, your rooms down the hall next to mine, just clean up after yourself and don’t touch my stash.” Chris shakes his hand taking the joint and lighting it up.

“trust me, thank you so much for this I cant believe the day I’ve had, I don’t think I need any more surprises”

Robby takes the mask off tripping over some stacks of naruto manga trying to talk.

Chris looks down at him and sees if hes alright.

“so is this something you get used to at all.” Paul takes a controller out and begins playing call of duty.

“not a chance, just happy to have two new moneymakers in the house.” Chris helps Robby up only to quickly turn around.

“What do you mean two moneymakers.”

Paul just playing his game answering,

“don’t worry about it.”

The door opens to reveal a young woman wearing a pale green tee-shirt, black jeans and brown hair tied in a ponytail walking in.

“well, this is the address and it looks like… OH MY GOD.”

Chris’s eyes bulge out of his sockets and stares at the girl.

“HELEN!!!” “CHRIS!”

The two stare at each other and watch as a robed figure comes out with a clipboard. Checking some papers for the day.

“Paul, can you tell me when the new students arrive…. Oh their here, hmm as yes Christopher Matthews age 22, died of frostbite, Helen Monroe, age 24, died of accidental overdose, my names reefer welcome to the house, er are you listening.

The two of them glare at each other only to say the same thing as they contemplate the situation.

“I’m gonna fucking kill dad.”

[thedurangedrantsofamadman]

Dear Druid

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel so shitty and I’m sorry for letting you down. I never intended to hurt you like this but it played out this way regardless of how I felt. I know that I don’t feel the same way about sex as you do but it isn’t something I would be able to do with just anyone. And you aren’t just anyone. You are the only person ive ever been comfortable with tickling me. You are the only person ive been truly comfortable being naked around. You are one of the only people that i am so comfortable around that i dont feel the need to protect myself at all. I have never trusted anyone so quickly and so deeply. You are the person that i talk to my friends about. You are the person that i think about seeing the most. You are the person that always says the right thing to make my heart melt. I care about you deeply and I have done my absolute best to not fuck this up, to not push you away. Yet here we are. I tried so hard not to fall for you because I was afraid you’d leave me if I did, because I’m not ready to feel that way again. I have so much work to do to get myself to a point where I can be OK again because I’m not OK. I’m unstable and riddled with doubt and anxiety and all I want to do is hurt myself. Any time someone pushes me away i assume i did something wrong to deserve it and i let it happen. I’m so fucked up and opening myself up to get hurt again is to big of a risk. Yet here I am hurting anyway because I have made you hurt. I wanted to bring you into my life and make you my new best friend. I wanted to spoil you and make you feel amazing and instead I’ve neglected you and left you feeling unwanted. And for that I am so sorry. I will do anything within my power to fix this. If you need time then I will give you all of it. I will wait as long as you need me to. If you need to hate me for a time then do it. If you need to erase my contact and go on with your life without me in it for a time then by all means separate me from your life. I’ll wait for you to be ready to forgive me. No matter how long it takes. Because when I’m with you its beyond difficult to feel down. Because you help me smile and laugh and it feels like everything I’ve been missing is within reach. Because you are light and happiness and laughter and joy. Because I want you in my life more than anything and no matter how much I enjoyed the time we have spent together and how involved with one another we have become it wasn’t worth losing you over. There isn’t a single thing that would be worth losing you. I am sorry and if there is any way I can make this right please let me know .

I try my hardest every single day to not let my depression sink in but it always finds a way. I give all that I can to the people I care about and they still turn on me. They still end up blaming me. I always end up the same way, alone and empty. No amount of effort short of medication will ever be able to change me. This is just how I am. I trust everyone I meet with my life and only after I care for them do I doubt them. I cant stop thinking that they are hiding something from me and if I can’t find a problem then I become it. I become the reason that things are kept from me. I become the reason that people can’t be happy around me. Everything I have or ever will have I will ruin and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest. I’m sorry that I have been so damned afraid. I’m sorry that I have been so confused about my feelings and so difficult to understand. I’m sorry for feeling the way that I do and I’m sorry for how everything has happened.

I’m sorry that I’m getting in the way of our friendship and I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been. And I am beyond sorry for every single second that I have ever made you feel anything less than amazing. I wish that I could have overcome my fears and been more than this but I didn’t, I haven’t, and I probably never will. I’m sorry that I lied to you and I’m sorry that I lied to myself. But I’m not a good person. I am tiny and petty and filled to the brim with negativity and from this point on I am not going to be what makes you happy. I can’t be that. I am too consumed in my own pain to be anything of use to you. I’m glad that your feelings have subsided and I’m glad you can move on now and I hope that you can be OK and that whatever it is that will make you happy that he is it

I’m not okay with this. I’m not happy with this. I can’t fucking stand this. Every time one of us reaches out the other shuts down completely. Neither of us trust each other. We are both getting consumed by our jealousy. I hate this druid. I keep having panic attacks when I see you and when I shut down because of it you shut down and say I’ll talk to everyone else but you and that’s true because I’m not having panic attacks over them. I’m not consumed by mixed feelings and jealousy over them. Just you. And I don’t know how to make it stop. I’m so uneasy over all of this and I can’t seem to get you into a room alone so that we can talk. There is so much I want to say so much I want you to understand. You keep shutting down because I talk to Zelda and Grace more often then I do to you but I constantly try to come up with a reason to be there, to be at the wares stations so that I can see you because I want to talk to you. But half of the time he is there and I cant be me when he is. I can’t say that I love you and that I just want to hold you until your worries are gone. I can’t spill my heart to you no matter how much I want to. And somehow we reached this point where we don’t trust each other and we shut down at the drop of a hat. I miss you all the time I want you by my side every second because you are an anchor. You keep me here, in my body, in my head, like no one else does. I want you with me. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine. I know you don’t trust me but I do still love you. I do still want a relationship with you. And I fully intend to keep my promises to you. But I don’t know if this is the right time for us. There is so much standing in our way right now and two of those things seem to be ourselves. I keep thinking of what to do and I’ve got nothing. Every time we talk we just come back to loving each other but not knowing what to do and then it repeats. We just keep hurting and nothing changes and its making me miserable. I can’t stop getting upset and I can’t calm myself down long enough to talk to you before you shut down too. I’m trying so hard to be more than this, to be more than I am and it isn’t working. I’m still this, I’m still me, a tiny jealous and fragile human. You wanted me to talk about it so here it is. This is what’s on my mind and I can’t keep doing this. I can still talk to you, I can still be your friend, I can still be there for you, but I can’t keep holding onto the hope of having a relationship with you. Maybe the time isn’t right, maybe we aren’t ready, but either way we aren’t happy and we aren’t together and nothing is changing. It feels like I have to cling onto you with everything that I have just to keep you from shutting me out entirely. Every time you try I do everything I can to stop you but that buys barely anytime before you try again. I don’t know how rambly this is right now and I’m trying not to be petty so I’ll end here. Im sorry.

I can not do this. You don’t talk to me about what is on your mind. You don’t tell me when I’m doing something that bothers you. You text me pretty inconsistently as it is and when we are together you seem more absorbed in texting other people then you are in actually talking to me. You don’t trust me and I can’t figure out why cause you won’t talk to me. I don’t trust you because we never talk and because I’m keeping things from you even now because i never know what’s going to hurt you and what isn’t. So here. i have sent all of these other messages about my feelings so that’s what I’ve been keeping from you. About a month and a half ago I kissed someone and we pretty much haven’t talked since then. It meant nothing but its not like I could tell you that because you’ve been getting upset over me talking to other girls while I’ve been trying to stay calm whenever you talk to him or the few times you’ve kissed him in front of me. I don’t know what you feel for him or what’s going on between you two but I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not going to continue this shitty cycle of us lying to each other.

First off let me apologize for how I have been acting. I have not been open with you about my feelings, at least not completely, at any point. I always have a little bit that I hide or in some cases a lot. So here it is. Everything above this is my thoughts or feelings from some point during the time that I have known you. I know I've shown some of them to you before but I can't remember which you have or haven't seen so here is everything. Now let me clarify a bit more. Part of me has resented you for since the first time we stopped talking. When we expressed feelings for one another you told me that you would wait until I was ready because you wanted me to like you for you and that meant a lot to me. After a little while though you expressed that you weren't comfortable with us having sex while not officially dating and all I was concerned about at that point was you. I was worried that you would need some space to get your head right and to be ready to be friends. I didn't think you wanted to wait anymore and since we couldn't be together that you needed to give up on the relationship. So I offered space. I don't know if you thought I wanted to push you away or if you thought I didn't want you anymore but you grew angry and we stopped talking. And in that lapse of communication you ran to him. You ran to someone else. You chose someone else that you could have then and there. When I asked you about it you said that you needed to be in a relationship but that wasn't good enough and that still isn't good enough. So I opened up more and for once I was selfish. For once I told you the truth of what I wanted. I wanted you. Yes I wasn't ready, yes I wanted to wait, but I wanted you nonetheless. And so you told me that you would end it with him. You told me that I was the one you loved. But you still talked to him. You still spent time with him. You turned to him for rides before you ever tried asking me. You put off ending it as long as you could and then finally told me that you did but then you kept telling me that he was begging for you pack and that he wouldn't give up on you. Meanwhile we remained intamite as we had been previously and we carried on as if we were together even though we weren't. And he still clinged to you. We argued and shut down and pushed each other out. You spent half of your time texting other people when you were supposed to be with me. And through it all he clinged to you and you let him. I wanted to trust you, I wanted to love you, I wanted to be with you, but in the back of my mind every time I saw him I thought about how you chose him and I thought that you would always choose him over me. Saying that you need to be in a relationship isn't enough because if you can't exist as an individual outside of a relationship so much so that you need to be in an unhealthy relationship just to feel whole then you were far less ready for this than I ever was. I know it was petty to give back everything that I did but I needed to make a point. I needed you to see for a second how much this has hurt me. Because you have made it clear to me just how much you have been hurt by everything that I've done. So I need you to understand. I love you. And you picked him. You said you would wait but you lied. I told you I wanted you now and you still couldn't trust me. You still couldn't give me a reason to trust you again. The way you have been acting, randomly saying I'd be happier with someone else before shutting me out completely, getting angry and jealous when I so much as talk to any of my friends, and trying to make me feel bad for actually opening up to them, is the same way I would act if I was hiding something from someone. You have been acting how I would when I am keeping someone in the dark. And that terrifies me. Ive told you so many times about how easily I am used and how important honesty is but I can't believe anything you say because you've lied to me a few times so what's real anymore? I need you to understand that being trapped in a situation where I can't talk to you out of fear of upsetting you with my feelings and where I also can't talk to other people out of fear of upsetting you has been hurting me so much. This has hurt. I am hurt. I'm hurting so much over this that I can hardly look at you. I can't stand this. You made me promise that I wouldn't let you push me away but you never said you would make it this difficult. I can only fight for so long to stay in the life of someone that I don't feel wants me in it anymore. So there. Thats everything I could think of. These are all of my feelings. Do with them what you will. Having expressed myself, I will continue to be and will always be as good of a person as I can be. If you need help or need someone to talk to I'm still here and maybe one day we will be friends again. But I can not and I will not hold onto this relationship with you. I love you but we are drastically unhealthy for each other. We shut down and push each other away and I can not do it anymore. I can't build a relationship with someone I can't trust. Not again. So if you need me you know where I am. Otherwise I hope that he makes you happy enough that when you go to sleep at night you don't have to think about whether or not you made the right choice.

[nackles]

1-100 of the distract list :3

jfc i mean im takign a break from zelda so why not lmao

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

@selenabi

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

i mean sure?

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

…a cat? LMAO

4: What’s something you really want right now?

to be out of my home

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

too laaaaaaaaaaate

6: Do you like the beach?

i havent been to the beach in years but its pretty cool

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

not as far as i remember?

8: What’s the background on your cell?

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

um…they were all my bed lul

10: Do you like your phone?

i love my phone! im just bummed that bc the camera glass broke at work my camera is kinda poopy now :c

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

i mean they weren’t but im trying to fix that

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

i think my supervisor

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

both please? lul

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

easy, emotional

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

im cool with either or! but if i had to choose i guess art museum

16: Are you tired?

when am i not tired lets be real LMAO

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

my whole life

18: Are they a relative?

yeah lul its me mom

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

LMAO HELL NO

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

im talking to them right now

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

lmao no not today

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yea lul ill probably do it again for most of my life tbh

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

not really………..

25: What’s on your mind?

just thinking about the future and how happy ill be to finally be out of my home rn

26: Do you have any tattoos?

nop

27: What is your favorite color?

blue!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

probably this week if i get most of the week off

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

yea lmao

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

hell yea

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i would hope @selenabi would lul

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

all the time ngl

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

ok pero like that wouldnt happen?

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

nah

38: What do your friends call you?

nicky LMAO

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

oh man not this week but last week was the wooorst

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

yeah man i think we’ve all been there

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

on my hand lmao

42: What is it from?

boxes fell on me at work

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

honestly every goddamn day 

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

@selenabi

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yeah, but each time i get a new fav they’re like always worn down in a few months to a year bc i exclusively wear only one pair of shoes until my current ones are literally fallling apart

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

hell no i just deal with it lul

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

nah

48: Do you make supper for your family?

i mean i sometimes pay for chinese or pizza

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

yeee

50: Top 3 web-pages?

uhhh, i guess youtube, amazon and a tie between twitter and tumblr

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

not off the top of my head?

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my feet and back really hurt rn

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

ehh it depends. if i know ill see the person again then i have no problem

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

water lul

55: How is your hair?

super curly and T H I C C

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

usually shower if i have to go to work

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

i mean i dont see why not

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

i was fuckgin 10 years old ofc i was LMAO

59: Green or purple grapes?

they’re both great ngl

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

later today my dude

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

all the time

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

probably today?

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

when typing this, ill be arriving in davis

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

i was at work lul

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

yeee

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

yeah selena

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

not yet

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i wanna sleep but i also wanna play more botw

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah my dude thats what i call called life

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

4

71: How many fingers do you have?

8 plus two thumbs

72: What is your ringtone?

the mgs 1 codec

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

still 20

74: Where is your Mum right now?

babysitting

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

ngl i dont wanna get deep into this but ill just say complications 

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

nah

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i mean two years ago i only really talked to my friends from hs so yes?

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

yeah lmao

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

my uncle’s name is mike!

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

yeee

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

none lul

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

yeah

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

yeah ill also be sleeping in their bed too

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

my friends probably lul even tho i wouldnt do that

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

yeah

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

i mean some asshole kept kicking the back of my chair but thast about it

87: Who was your last received call from?

my mom lul

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

probably not lul

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

money time

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

i dont think so?

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

sometimes, i tend to not to keep dust out

92: Do you get along with girls?

yess

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

i dont think so?

94: Does sex mean love?

i mean it can?

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

no way my dude

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

nop

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

yee

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

selena and vIDEO GAMES

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

i never really thought about it or cared tbh

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

selena i think

[ganondoodle]

read about all the armor set pieces i never bothered to fin before stopping to play to make sure i wasnt missing any potential useful info and came across the thing that im guessing is the reward for the shrines given its description and i just

kinda sank back into sadness and desperation bc of how much i dont like it and im fearing they are just gonna mess it all up even further

i said it before but i have a seething hatred for how totk hurts botw in retrospect, like wow i liked the mystery of the sonau but never wanted an answer to it, i liked the mystery of who the ancient hero was bc of its strange depiction and man did i not want this kind of answer, some things not having an answer can be more interesting than having one, cant we focus on going forward instead of looking back further and further, it was fine with the shiekah but at the end of botw it felt like a relieved sigh of "ok the past is gone and done, now we can built a better future and move o-" NOPE LOL LOOK BACK EVEN FURTHER THERE WERE THE COOLEST PEOPLE EVEN FURTHER IN THE PAST OMG YOU GUYYSSS LOOKS HOW COOL THEY WERE AND ALSO FUCKED IT ALL UP LOOOOOK LOOOK

like in general i have nothing against introducing a new species/nation to zelda but the way they did the sonau is just nothing but frustrating to me, coming out of basically nowhere and suddendly being shoved into EVERYTHING, everything shiekah, basically erased bc ACTUALLY the sonau were here first lol and they were so much cooler and better in every aspect dont you DARE even THINK of any other boring old group central to the better game of the two (botw)

like i get it they are the new cool thing but they feel so much more suddendly FORCED into EVERY aspect of both lore and world and how everyone absolutely obsesses over them its like the devs were so scared of the player not being interested in them that they felt the need to make every second NPC obsessed with them just so they can constantly shove in your face how interesting they are (like i think they way this was done just made me even less interested/more annoyed, sorry, their design is neat yeah but i really dont care, you failed to make me care and TELLING me to care wont change that), the ancient shiekah felt so much better integrated as a natural part of the world without being annoying about it and i just ....

i worry about whats to come, both for possible DLC, or worse even another game pretending to be connected to it or just .. in general ... especially given how successful totk was and still looks like its only praised outside of my bubble of like minded people

i now got alot of people interested into my totk rewrite but now im worried ... isnt my energy and time better spent on something else .. especially if they are just gonna make it all worse anyway/mess with it more, like after seeing how much totk disappointed me yet how successful it is i doubt it will get better again

[ganondoodle]

you know, you could argue that totk is just "one bad game" in a series that doesnt have to mean anything for the future, and i should jsut move on and wait for the next one, and generally id agree, but these days i cannot help but feel like its the beginning of the end, so to say

we are seeing it in every type of media, be it series, games, movies, that stories that say anything are too risky so they go for generic slop instead- the recent news about pixar wanting to focus "mass appeal" (despite their reasoning being completely hypocritical?) is just yet another proof of that being a trend that doesnt seem to stop any time soon

and one of the problems that brings with it, besides just being boring, is that "generic mass appeal" stuff ... ends up turning around to repeat tired old stereotypes that often leads to really problematic framing (like even childrens cartoons featuring war somewhere in the middle east against evil arabs .. just like, as a backdrop), bc "mass appeal" in general really means "average white person able to spend money", which isnt the majority of people but its the ones who this is targeted towards and more often than not made by, and, no matter how much some people want to pretend its possible, its impossible to make anything that doesnt say anything, theres nothing non political, if they think something is non political its bc its aimed at them and they agree with it

thats what makes me so anxious about the future of the zelda franchise, bc, while its always been a problem, totk especially.. is exactly that imo, its generic and a boring good vs evil with no nuance to be found if you are in the target "mass appeal" but as soon as you arent, or know about the most widely used ways of framing, its kinda scary how clearly it turns into a white god appointed savior against the evil arabs imperialism simulator, and it might not have been intended as such, its so normalized that its considered simple and standard.. (i know i go on alot about it, and i dont mean media has to be sanitized uwu perfect and not feature anything problematic- i mean this as a critique of how its presented, it expects and wants you to agree with it, its not like a cautionary tale about serious things like some movies ARE, its a fantasy game 'aimed at kids' ..)

and if its true that they outsourced the writing for the game .. for the sequel to breath of the wild, one of their most successful games ever, then what does that mean for the future? that doesnt sound good at all

with the trends of the dominating media, and how totk turned out, i feel like we are seeing the start of a downfall into 'generic slop' that makes them more money more safely than anything more unique or interesting for the franchise like its happening with everything else that isnt indie

if all that wasnt the case i might not be so focused on it, i might be able to move on much easier, but i cant, i care deeply about it and i feel like im clawing at sand slipping into a giant garbage disposal, im not thrilled and excited for the next game like i was just a few years ago, or direct for that matter, im afraid of what they will do next, and i dont think thats good, and i dont think im the only one either, hyperfixation (special interest?) or not

[ganondoodle]

the worst part about finding more and more about totk that i dont like is that ... it seems like one of my biggest fears is going to become true; all of my previous hyperfixations died because a new thing of the franchise came out and i didnt like it, turned that strange, perhaps unhealthy, love and attachment into disappointment and sadness and im afraid thats happening to zelda right now, the one hyperfixation i hoped could last or at the very least i would just grow slowly away from in a good way if it was just totk that i didnt like, tho its hard to see all the love people have for it and just ... feel the opposite about it, it would be fine (heck i really disliked links awakening but ultimately i just regret spending so much money on it, it didnt impact my feelings about the rest of the franchise) but because it diminishes everything about botw too .. a game that i still love deeply, its not fine aside from me not liking anything they did with the zonau, it basically steamrolled botw too, damn near ignoring it ever happened, cramming in zonau stuff where it wasnt before just so its literally everywhere, taking its mysterious and answerign them in boring ways, implying that stuff i loved so much about botw was yet just another zonau thing (the three dragons possibly having been zonau ..........the ancient hero mystery being .. that.......) people basically claiming as fact that its somehow slammed into the old timeline despite it making no sense nor has any evidence aside from some names that happened to be used once before or them saying whats the point of ever looking at botw again bc totk does everything "better" ...

you cant ignore it really, even if i try to ignore what i dont like, i know whats revealed in totk, and others know it too.

and in turn it all makes me go back to that strange self hatred i thought i had finally left behind, the why do i care so much, its stupid to care so much about a piece of media i have no control about anyway, whats the point of caring so much, you have wasted so much time and effort and thought and tears about something like this, why are you so weird, why cant you just be like everyone else and love it all, why are you like this, stop being like this.

knowing i cant stop being like this, fearing from the start it might happen just like it has so many times, that i fall in love with a piece of media so much that when it gets a new thing that i dont like but affects every aspect of it it all flips into anger first, then disappointment and sadness and in end into wishing i wasnt weird like this, knowing i cant change it ... and it turning out true

[ganondoodle]

something thats been driving me crazy is the constant worry that i am somehow using harmful stereotypes for the characters i write

like i am unfortunately white tm and me also being autistic and queer does not erase that obviously, im always trying to educate myself as best as i can, yet i feel like im always doing something wrong

its less of a problem when im working with the normal forms of hylia and demise since they are not really human, and though their humanoid disguises technically are still not human they do represent what they might have looked like if they grew up as one; i didnt want to make demises form too dark since i felt like it would perpetuate that stereotype of dark skin = evil which is already not great about ganondorfs character design, but didnt want to make him too light since i felt it would erase that part of his connection to ganondorf altogether and make it all the worse, but then again my demise isnt actually that evil, hes good at heart, so making him too light then would be even worse bc it would imply that light = good thing again

for hylia im even more anxious about it bc i intentionally gave her very dark skin to kinda subvert that light = good thing with zelda (tho in my AU the gods are not good and hylia isnt actually as loyal to them as it may seem bc she knows that.. which i feel complicates things just further; and also light an dark is just a very good contrast aesthetically?) but then i also like to intentionally make characters rather ?gender? but then i worry her being somewhat masculine would also be sth harmful bc i know black women are often treated as inherently less feminine .. which isnt my intention at all (tho my hylia .. doesnt rly have a gender? idk many characters i like to write/design dont have anything specific, like what more do you need than knwoing the right pronouns to call them?? qnq) her being rather cold and ruthless also feels like im doing something bad somehow

then theres the whole sexualization worry, i dont know if im doing that in a bad way bc honestly i just like .. drawing ...bodies? aesthetically? like yes they are very sexy but also wheres the line, am i somehow overstepping it without knowing?? how can i recognize what is normal 'finding certain things pretty or sexy' and what isnt??

so far i dont remeber anyone pointing anythign out as bad which im taking as a sign that i cant be doing that badly .. hopefully, maybe all this is a very stupid thing to worry about and its obvious to everyone else but i am so god damn afraid of doing something even slightly questionable and being hunted down for it (probably bc similar happened to me when i was a teen and it was about an absolut non issue, literally, so even the thought of doing something actually bad is mind boggling to me bc that other thing nearly cost me my life and i literally dont know how i survived and i would 100% not if it happened again..)

this is probably a very chronically online thing too but hoenstly i needed to get it out of my head for once